It’s been a while since my last entry. I was busy meditating and preparing myself mentally for a weekend getaway to Sin City. For the 3rd time since my 21st birthday, I ventured into the belly of the beast and emerged unscathed.
However, I must say that the excitement that builds while I await my trips to Las Vegas is counteracted by the disdain that I develop for the city during my actual visits. These mixed emotions troubled me. So I did what any logical man in my position would have done – I made a list. My list contains that things that I both love and hate about everyone’s favorite desert oasis:
Expensive nightclubs/expensive drinks/expensive women/gambling/winning money/losing money/Las Vegas has the highest number of double D breasts per capita in the WORLD/free drinks while gambling/beginner’s luck/foreigners/smoke-filled casinos/brunch at the Bellagio/sipping margaritas next to two really old women/our cheap ass room at the Sahara/running into people from Stanford/dancing with that fat girl at Pure/bonding with strangers while gambling/bonding with strangers while watching sports/bonding with strangers while checking out women/going to bed at 4 am/conversations with cab drivers/watching prostitutes proposition Johns/those guys on the Strip that hand out those nasty ass cards with naked women on them/those nasty ass cards with naked women on them/wondering if I just saw Elvis Presley hanging out with Wayne Newton/drunken dancing/window shopping/spending too much money when window shopping isn’t enough/seeing B-level and lower celebrities/knowing that I was in town the same weekend that OJ Simpson got arrested/the confusion of going through my cell phone and trying to remember which name and number goes with which face/being in Vegas to celebrate Mexican independence/the woman with front titties and back titties/the woman with the taper that was nicer than mine/wondering what my mother would think if she knew how I behaved in Vegas/knowing how proud my father would be of my behavior in Vegas/trying not to get alcohol spilled on my white shirt at Jet/cranberry juice and Grey Goose/cranberry juice and Belvedere/Patron and Sprite/the old guys with hot women in VIP/beautiful bartenders/bartenders that try to rip you off because they think that you’re too wasted to do simple math/tipping bartenders immediately after they try to rip you off/discussing the wonder of Celine Dion with your boys/waking up with alcohol still in your system, only to start drinking again well before noon/wondering what it would be like to chill in a suite at the Wynn/the unbelievable line at Tao/gambling while waiting for your flight/breaking a sweat while walking home from the club/constantly tinkering on the brink of dehydration/seeing the Las Vegas lights from out of our airplane/Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas/Leaving Las Vegas…
These are just a few of the things that make Las Vegas the mecca that it is. The reasons why I can’t wait to get there and why once making it there, I can’t wait to get home.
Thank you Las Vegas, I love/hate you.
